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Managing Times of Excessive Stress
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Unavoidable periods of excessive stress are one of the realities of life. We all experience the death of a loved one, a serious illness in oneself or a family member, periodic deadlines at work, problems with children, and financial difficulties. At these times of excessive stress, inappropriate anger can be especially troublesome. The following three guidelines can help you manage these times more effectively.
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I. Develop an Early Warning System One of the biggest problems for many of us is simply recognizing when the effects of stress are interfering with our ability to think clearly and perform routine tasks. People often only realize that stress is becoming a major problem when they are experiencing serious problems. Take a moment now to recall times when you’ve experienced high levels of stress. As you go through the following list of stress symptoms, list on a piece of paper those that you experienced during these times. Common Symptoms Associated with Stress Physical
Mental
Emotional
Behavioral
Relational
Spiritual
You have probably experienced many of these symptoms during times of high stress. Some, however, are more important indicators than others. Go back through your list and put a check by the five symptoms that you feel are the most important indicators that stress is beginning to have a negative effect on you. Noticing when these symptoms are experienced helps you create a Personal Early Warning System for stress. Taking a few minutes over the next five days to review your list is a good way to increase the chances that you will notice them when stress is becoming a problem in the future. When you do notice them, use the following two approaches to manage your stress more effectively.
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II. Focus Your Activities by Setting Priorities and Delegating During times of high stress, stressors consume much of your mental and physical energy. Because stress leaves you with fewer resources with which to handle your daily tasks, you need to use the available mental and physical energy wisely. The key is to focus on the most important tasks you are facing and to let go of those that are less important. Unfortunately, this is often difficult to do during times of high stress because the decrease in your ability to reason increases all-or-nothing thinking, which in turn exaggerates the importance of little things. For this reason an increase in inappropriate anger often accompanies high stress. Whenever you notice one or more of the stress indicators that you checked in the previous section, take time to set priorities. If possible, delegate small tasks to others. Ask yourself these three questions:
Alex demonstrated well how this can be done. The company where he worked had been bought by a large corporation. The new owners were conducting a review of the various departments to determine which to keep and which to eliminate. The uncertainty of not knowing whether he would have a job, compounded by the pressure of responding to the review process while maintaining his regular work, was very stressful. As one might predict, Alex, along with his fellow workers, experienced a number of stress-related symptoms. Particularly troublesome for him were a impatience and an increased amount of anger. During this time Alex’s mother was about to turn sixty. He and his brothers and sister had discussed having a special birthday celebration for her. Being the oldest son, Alex had taken the lead in planning the event. But the stress of his work situation made this very difficult and caused him to be resentful of his brothers and sister. As he and I discussed this dilemma, he realized that he really didn’t have to do as much for the celebration as he thought he should do. Alex discussed his situation with his sister and two of his brothers. They were sympathetic and more than willing to take over some of the tasks. This took some of the pressure off of him, which helped him cope with his work situation more effectively. He also found that he was less resentful toward his family and that enjoyed his mother’s birthday celebration much more than he would have.
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III. Slow Down the Decision-Making Process Alex’s experience with his mother’s birthday celebration also illustrates the importance of slowing down the decision-making process during times of high stress. The decrease in mental energy, with the accompanying increase in distorted thinking, tends to raise the likelihood of poor decisions. The best way to counter this tendency is to take more time with important decisions. When possible, consult with someone you trust who can look at things objectively. Taking time to list things on a piece of paper is a good way to slow down the decision making process. The simple act of writing things down often seems to make them more manageable. It also helps you to look at them more objectively. In Alex’s case, taking time to discuss the problem with his brothers and sister proved helpful. They had several good ideas and were able to relieve Alex of more tasks than he thought possible. (The above has been extracted from Mr. Peurifoy’s books, Overcoming Anxiety and Anger: Taming the Beast) |
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E-mail comments to: lrsc@rpeurifoy.com Disclaimer: This site contains general reference information and is not intended as a substitute for consulting with a physician or a psychotherapist. Copyright © 1999 by Reneau Peurifoy, MA — All Rights Reserved |