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Distorted Thinking
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What is Distorted Thinking? One of the marvels of the mind is that once we learn to do complex tasks, they can become automatic and unconscious. For example, when you first learn to drive a car, learning to steer, brake, and judge various driving situations requires all of your attention. Eventually, however, driving becomes so automatic that you need pay little conscious attention to the many tasks involved. Even though you are making decisions every minute, you are unaware of most of them. Instead, you listen to the radio or talk to the passengers, giving driving only a casual thought. Similarly, while growing up, we need to learn which activities are safe and dangerous, what our role is in society, how to achieve the things we want, and how to interact with others. By the time we are adults, most of this learning has become unconscious habit patterns. As we saw in Chapter 3, most of our emotions are triggered by our interpretations of events. The thinking processes that produce these interpretations—as well as the actions we take—are mostly automatic and unconscious, like those involved in driving. Since these automatic thinking patterns are developed in childhood, some of the reasoning behind them is faulty. But because they become automatic we are mostly unaware of them as we enter adulthood. Thus, everyone uses some faulty reasoning from time to time. Whenever you use a faulty pattern, you misinterpret and, hence, distort the events you are experiencing. Distorted thinking, then, can be defined as any reasoning process that distorts reality. Distorted thinking is also a common source of inappropriate anger. Learning to reduce the amount of distorted thinking you use is therefore a good way to reduce the amount of inappropriate anger you experience. The first step in reducing your distorted thinking is to become aware of when you are using it. Most of our conscious thoughts take the form of silent conversations in the mind called self-talk. Thus, you can identify the various forms of distorted thinking you use by noticing specific words or phrases are present in your thoughts or speech. While different types of distorted thinking sometimes overlap, memorizing specific labels for each form is very useful. The reason this approach is effective is due to what I call the “new car” principle: When you first buy a new car, you suddenly notice cars of the same make as yours wherever you go. It’s as if suddenly hundreds of them are everywhere, when prior to your purchase there were none. Actually they were always there—you simply didn’t notice them before. But because you put so much time, thought and effort into selecting this particular car, your mind now tends to notice this type of car wherever you go. A similar phenomenon happens when you identify different forms of distorted thinking. Taking time to memorize their labels and definitions helps you become aware of when you are using them, which in turn allows you to challenge them and replace them with more rational and realistic thoughts. As you become skilled at doing this, you will find it a powerful tool for reducing this common source of inappropriate anger.
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Common Forms of Distorted Thinking Should/Must Thinking: The transformation of personal choices, wants, or preferences into universal absolutes. This is usually done by thinking in words and phrases such as “should,” “must,” “ought,” and “have to.”
Circular questioning: The repeated asking of questions that are irrelevant or have an answer you already know but are unwilling to accept.
Can’t thinking: The use of the word “can’t” to describe a need, want, decision, or choice.
All-Or-Nothing Thinking: The tendency to evaluate personal qualities and events in extreme, black-and-white categories. This is often expressed with the words “right,” “wrong,” “good,” and “bad.”
Overgeneralization: The transformation of a single negative event into a never-ending pattern of defeat or misfortune. Often this is done by using words like “never,” “always,” and “every.”
Magnification/Minimization: Magnification includes two types of exaggerations: catastrophizing, the exaggeration of personal flaws, small negative experiences, and mistakes; and the exaggeration of the abilities of others.
Personalization: The act of assuming responsibility for a negative event when there is no basis for doing so.
Mind Reading: Assuming what other people are thinking or feeling with little or no evidence to support the assumption and no attempt to confirm or deny the assumption.
Fortune Telling: Making a prediction and then convincing yourself it is an already established fact.
Accepting Questionable Sources as Authoritative: Accepting as reliable an opinion or advice colored by vested interest, ignorance, lack of experience, or prejudice.
Emotional Reasoning: The use of emotions as the primary or only means for evaluating a situation, event, or beliefs.
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Journal Examples Illustrating How to Challenge Distorted Thinking Example 1 Incident Thoughts Rational
Challenge These children don’t have any sense at all. — This is negative labeling and minimizing. Actually, both girls are very smart. However, they’re just children and don’t know all of the things I sometimes expect them to know. Times like these are an opportunity to teach them how to do things more safely. I’ve got to watch them day and night. — This is another magnification based on my fears. I don’t have to watch them every minute. In fact, I’ve left them on their own lots of times and they do well. While the way in which she was trying to get the book was dangerous, the truth is that she probably would have been fine. I probably wouldn’t have even known what she did if I hadn’t had walked in at that moment. Plan Example 2 Incident Thoughts Rational
Challenge Why won’t they leave me alone. — This is one of those disguised “should/Must” rules = They should leave me alone and not embarrass me. While it would be nice if everyone treated everyone else with kindness and respect, that does not always happen in the real world. Everyone’s always picking on me. They just wait for me to fall on my face so they can stand there and laugh at me. — First of all, this is a magnification. “Everyone” isn’t always picking on me. This is a pattern that is primarily between me and my brothers. While it is true that we do a lot of kidding that can sometimes be pretty mean, we wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to any one of us. In fact, we’d be the first to help and defend each other. They’re really on my side. This is just a negative pattern from when we were kids. It isn’t fair. — This is a true statement. Life isn’t fair. My statement in this case was simply a wishing for things to be different. Plan
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E-mail comments to: lrsc@rpeurifoy.com Disclaimer: This site contains general reference information and is not intended as a substitute for consulting with a physician or a psychotherapist. Copyright © 1999 by Reneau Peurifoy, MA — All Rights Reserved |